Do You Taste Like Strawberries?
by xXduchessXx
Summary: Two one shots, two people, one cracky question. Light and L want to know.


**Do You Taste Like Strawberries?**

_**Summary: **_Two one shots, two people, one cracky question. Light and L want to know

_**Disclaimer:**_ Don't own.

_**A/N:**___Ahh. The crackiness. This story can be blamed on iflip4dolphins, again. The two stories are not related, in both one shots the other has not taken place. Iflip asked for both of them to pop the question and I obliged I am fully aware that there are no Marigolds ( cake shop in town) or Wal-Mart's in Tokyo. Seeing how I don't know what the equivalents are, bare with me.

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The investigation room was tense and silent. There had been no news on Kira for the past four days, and nerves were wound tight. L calculated that if someone did not break the tension soon, Matsuda had a 34.6% chance of bursting into tears. The percentage was rising by 2% every four minutes, and L knew that he had to act soon, or risk the investigation team falling apart. Pondering ways to provide comedic relief, L decided that a sexual themed joke would be best. Of course the butt of the joke would be Light. Because what would be the point of life if he didn't get to tease Light? If would have to be a relatively light joke though, or Yochiro-san's head might explode.

"Light, do you taste like strawberries?"

Dead silence.

Hmm, perhaps he should try to reason it out aloud so that he didn't look like any more of a complete nutcase than he already did.

"It's only that I never see you eating strawberries, or anything else sweet. You insist that green food is "healthy" for you and eat it with depressing regularity with no strawberries to break the monotony. So my theory is that you already have the taste swimming around your mouth constantly."

More dead silence.

"If you're not going to answer me Light-san, I am going to taste to figure it out myself. It would be quite nice to know that I have a sweet treat on hand whenever I am hungry."

Well that was one way to clear a room.

"Light-san?"

...

...

...

"Light-san?"

Light didn't answer. Really, he couldn't. His magnificent brain had fizzled and died when L had asked his first question. By the time L had reached his second sentence, his brain had performed a re-boot, and was quickly running through all sorts of crazy sexual positions that would give his father a heart attack if he ever knew that they roamed around his son's head. For a while, Light's brain was happy with these thoughts, before it realized that it didn't have to rely on its imagination anymore, it had the World's Cutest Detective sitting right in front of it.

"Light-sa-mmmmmmf!"

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Light was watching L. This was not uncommon, but what made this occasion so disturbing was that Light was watching L openly. He was not pretending to read reports, or staring out into space while glancing at L out of the corner of his eye. He was flat out staring. It was disturbing the investigation team. It was the discomfort of the investigation team that eventually brought Lights abnormal behavior to L's attention. He was always paying attention to Light, but he never really reacted to what Light was doing. Except for when Light tried to take his candy. That warrented attention. And mayby a few roundhouse kicks.

"Light, you have had your eyes locked on my face for the past five and one half minutes. Is there something disturbing you?"

"Yo Face!" thought every member of the investigation team. Even Aizawa and Sochiro, but they both had raise teenagers, so they could be forgiven. Matsuda on the other hand...

"L, do you taste like strawberries?"

...

...

...

"!"

"Matsuda-san, you will go out and buy me a coffee from Starbucks, Double caramel Macchiato with extra caramel and whipped cream on top, a pineapple upside down cake from the Marigolds on the other side of town, five boxes of soft sugar cookies with extra icing on top from the Wal-Mart on the other other side of town, and all the king sized milk chocolate bars from the corner store in the middle of downtown Tokyo." Matsuda drooped like a wet flower. No one cared.

"Yes L-san." Matsuda drooped his way out of the room. Again, no one cared. No that that source of entertainment was gone, what was left of the investigation team turned their attention back to L and Light.

"Why would you ask me such a strange question, Light-san? I do eat strawberries regularly, but they are usually dipped in various chocolates or swirled in sugar and icing. It is logical the sweet flavor of the sugar would over ride the strawberry."

"L, can you tell me, without a doubt, if you taste like strawberries?"

"... No. I admit that now that you have brought it to my attention it rather bothers me."

"Would you like to find out what you taste like?"

"If you are suggesting another idiotic online quiz that you weren't supposed to be looking at in the first place I shall raise your Kira percentage by ten."

"For such a smart person, you really can be stupid sometimes L."

"Why is that Light saa-nnnmmmmmmmf!"

...

...

...

"Well I'm out of here!"

"My wife will murder me if I come home late again."

"I just remembered that I have some errands to run at that Wal-Mart on the other side of town-"

BANG the door shut behind the last member of the investigation team.

...

"Well Light-san, what do I taste like?"

...

"I didn't quite get it the first time, I'll have to do another test."


End file.
